the feelings, emotions, mindset, and life of a student

I am a Demon

​I waged a war against my demons!

Fought for the calmness ;

Everything was messy in my mind,

Little did I know that,

My condition was never fine.

Found out that my peace;

 the mastermind of my sins behind.

It wore a mask of a fake smile,

threw me around ,Like a projectile,

Stitched and patched in bandages

Trapped like a bird in the cages.

Drove me insane, all I did was whine;

wounded and shabby, Got up Everytime!

Let my rage and pain ride me.

I sided with my demons inside;

Started destroying everything around

I smiled from inside, my turn this time.


I am running | Insomniac brat. 

I am running

running from the sleep
keeping myself of the dreams
dreams that aren’t reality

I am running 
running from the thoughts
of me being older and
mis managing my responsibility

I am running 
running from the emotions
develops on the mobile screen
while expressing them is my worst ability

I am running 
running from the talks 
everyone speaks of their achievements
sneaking into a cloak of invisibility

I am running
running from the light
afraid that its going to burn me
ruining every last of my opportunity

I am running
running away from the culture
created by the standards of some men
they call themselves the society

I am running
running away from the personal connections
safe guarding myself by a wall
thoughts that those aren’t true hospitality

I am running
running towards the addiction
the feeling of high over drugs
drowning myself in a pool of humility

I am running 
running towards the wreck
maybe be a masterpiece one day
and gain myself immortality

I am running
running to nothing 
mom & dad , I am sorry.
watch from over my shoulders, my futility. 
Debjyoti Saha

Why? | The question left unanswered.

Why are the feelings erratic?

 Why does everyone crave to be someone else?

Why does the person sitting next to you avoid mutual conversation?

Why do we blame religion for what we are?

Why does a color of skin matter?

Why are most teens depressed?

Why does terrorism exist?

Why are men often called sexist?

Why is everything a compedition?


Under the pouring rain | Insomniac Brat

I was standing in the pouring rain,
holding her hand;
down by the 6th lane.
looking at her gloomy eyes,
washing my pride and pain;
no, i didn’t want that night to end.

she looked at me with eyes so bright
sorry, I couldn’t pretend that everything’s alright.
i held her hand, put me around her.
we were getting comfy ,
to the heat of our body.
while i listen to her scold,
being drenched and soaked in cold.
I was standing in the pouring rain,
holding her hand;
down by the 6th lane.
i could feel the pain,
the rush of blood through her veins,
feeling those feelings ;
were driving me Insane.

I hugged her so tight,
held her closer to me,
being afraid that,
it might be another dream,
on another night.
Nothing felt so perfect,
& everything was alright.

I was standing in the pouring rain
holding her hand;
down by the 6th lane.
the rain stopped and cleared the sky;
while i kissed her ,
under the silver lining of the moonbeam.
spent the rest of the time,
up and gazing  her beauty;
under the million star stream.


Motivation | Poem an year ago!

The worlds just playing
It is just making you saying
You are making a fool out of yourself
What is wrong with you?
You can cut through them
You know they can’t beat you
You are just not working the way
Useless for me to say
They can’t understand you
Cause you are different
They think you can be bent
Show them what you are made of
Show them you can build your own tent
You think fast , they are slow
They will never last, they will never know
I say you go with the flow ,
Also target the priorities with your bow.
Sometimes attitude won’t just matter
Speak up loud, don’t just utter
People are going to talk at your back
They are just full bullshit sack
Show them what you are made of
Show them your fears
Let them know about your tears
Let them know about your story
Show them that you are worried
Show them that you care
Let them know that you are buried
Let them know what you can bear
Show them what is special about you
Show them what is that they don’t have
Let them know how to beable to see the other day
Let them know what isabout the other day
They will laugh at you,
You are your own kind
Don’t let others ruin your mind!
Do what you love to, have to!
Ignore could’s and make it happen!
If you will , I can pay your bill.!!

In her eyes

I want to see the universe that lies within your eyes grow bigger, brighter, stronger.
And when I look into them they would consume me whole.
Drowning in your universe, the sparks , the fireflies.
The stars , the sun, the cold , the warm.
I would be sitting wondering your wonders.
Make home in your world.
Stay and enjoy it all.
The breeze that would give me chills
In your eyes I would lay still.

Debjyoti Saha

What hurts?

What hurts?
Is when you aren’t feeling well.
Still waiting for the person,
Hoping they would ring the door bell.
What hurts?
Is when you find something so perfect,
And somewhere you found ;
Never was worth it.
What hurts?
Is when you are waiting for a text,
While you are being ignored
Even if it was your best.
What hurts?
Is when you cry yourself to sleep,
The next morning
And you cut yourself so deep.
What hurts?
Is when your day starts alright
Struggling through the day
it turns to a wreck by midnight.
What hurts?
Is when you think of someone all day,
And realising that, they pushed you away.
What hurts?
Is when you are soaking your blood in wine.
Hoping that one day it would all turn out fine.
What hurts?
Is when you think it’s a perfect life,
And the very next moment you search for knife.
What hurts?
Is when you love someone,
Even when not in sight.
When they left you in the dark
On the street by the lamplight.

Debjyoti Saha

Happy Birthday Dear.

I am in doubt,
Whether or not you ;
Have been hearing me out.
I am in worry,
My worst mistake;
Letting you go.
& I am sorry;
I am hurt so bad.
I made you so sad;
I am depressed,
I love the way;
You moved my stress.
I am alone,
Think of you as my all;
Has been long gone.
I think of you,
Every now and then;
I wonder we will meet when.
I know, you care,
Seeing you happy;
Is what I fare.
I know, you love,
Cause baby
You bring me peace as a white Dove.
I know, there’s Chaos in you,
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
All you need, is ask for it
And all world’s gonna be yours.
I know, it’s your birthday
It’s special for you,
Yet, I don’t have anything special to say.
I know, I am blank
Blank as a vacuum,
You fill it with your universe.
I could go on
But, I would run out of words
And they won’t be rhyming in verse
It sounds perfect, so let’s not make it worse.

Wish you a Happy Birthday. Have loads and loads of fun, and have the time in the best way possible. Bunk tuitions. this one’s for you. I hope you like it. We didn’t have time together. I regret that. I wish it didn’t went down the way it went. 


When I hurt you!

When I hurt you by pushing you away, I didn’t know why I did it in the first place! I am in Love with you since the day of your physics exam. & Tragically I didn’t want to propose you so sooner because creepy. When you went away I went crazy enough to track you down and bring you back to me. When you returned you weren’t single anymore. Seeing you patched up, I thought things started getting normal between the two of you, so, I didn’t bother you with my feelings. A few days later, you asked me for a suggestion of whether or not to approach your crush and like an idiot, I said, it’s upto you and if you like him you should’ve told him, (break the stereotypes.)  about it. I didn’t get your message, but I did want to tell you that I like you. I don’t sleep well, because in all honesty when I have a sweet dream with you, or about you, I would just wake up just staring at your profile. And I remember why I used to wake up, in my dreams I always receive a text from you, asking if I was free and that you needed to talk to me about something,  before I woke up. 3rd may, “our day”, was when I was awake that night, I had that dream again. I was staring at your profile and a few minutes later you turned online. When I was awake in those midnights, some of those nights you would be online too. I hope you remember them. When you ignored me, I thought you might be busy and I was disturbing you, so I reduced my excitement. I don’t forgive myself for hurting you when you loved me. I am sorry.  

I don’t want you away. 

Never did you any good. I thought I did. But , it didn’t help. 

For your dreams, I am happy that you are following them. I wish you the bestest luck through them. I ain’t much of a lucky charm but you are, use them wisely. If we aren’t talking no-more, I don’t want to bother you simply for me anymore and I hate being ignored. If you need someone to talk to, know that I will be there for you, ALWAYS !. 

We didn’t meet, didn’t touch, didn’t kiss each other but what we did, clean slate won’t be clean anymore. People like us don’t change, we grow some extra habits but that feeling still etches the wall of our brains making us damaged. Hell sleep or no sleep, I like to think of you everytime. 


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